I'm going to die a Virgin!
by Burning-candlelight
Summary: A chat between brothers about manly aspects of life turns into an unexpected kiss. Find out who is going to die...the Virgin. AU set in the summer before 4th year :D


**Hello!** Welcome to my first fanfiction as a _University Student_ (not something to really celebrate but who cares!) Anyways I sort of just came up with this story while I was watching a film. The title of this story is actually a quote from it and the general theme of the story too generates what was being talked about in the film. It's probably not as good as I hoped it would be, but i believe I have a good excuse for it being under par...I'm been ill for a week so lack of food and energy...well the old brain isn't working to full capacity lol. So getting to the point - ENJOY!!

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Dr. Dolittle 2 lol!_**

**I'm going to die a Virgin**

"You've got to be the Alpha male when it comes to women!"

"That sounds very primitive don't you think?"

"Not when it comes to getting that girl you desire it doesn't, especially in a place the size of Hogwarts."

Harry and Ron glanced at each other and then looked back to Bill and Charlie who had taken their brothers outside into the summer sun and had sat them all down under a tree.

"Why are you telling us this?" Fred and George asked their older brother Bill. Bill looked at Charlie who looked back at him and smirked.

"We are telling you guys this because you'll need to know this for future events that may or may not be taking place this year," Charlie said in his smooth, deep, cool voice as his eyes sparkled with a hidden knowledge.

"Oh details please," Fred said with a wry grin on his lips. Bill and Charlie shook their heads together and Bill started to speak again.

"We're getting a little bit side tracked here. We're telling you this now because now that you guys are getting older," at saying this Bill pointed to Harry and Ron, "You're going to need to know how to get some booty!"

"Booty?" Ron said with rather intrigued tone of voice. Harry however thought that the term was disgusting as his thoughts immediately flitted to the face of Cho.

"Yeah booty…you know a bit of practice before you find the one," Bill said as he looked at the startled faces of his brothers and Harry.

"Why are you calling it booty?" Harry asked as he felt a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, "Couldn't we call it something a bit more…non-offensive to women?"

"I actually do agree with Harry Bill…right we'll call it sugar." Charlie always thought Bill was a bit too crude when it came to pulling women and well, he didn't want his brothers to think the same way.

"Sugar? What the hell Char?" Bill said as he looked at his brother with alarm. Charlie merely smiled and didn't answer his elder brother, who in turn continued on with what he had to say to the four boys. Fred and George were grinning wickedly and Harry and Ron were looking rather fearful, they were only entering into their fourth year of Hogwarts and so were still nervous around the ladies.

"Okay…so what I'm trying to say is that when you want some…sugar," at this Bill glared sideways at Charlie who kept a placid look on his face, "You have to be tough and be the Alpha male so that the…sugar…will notice you and want to be with you. Do you guys understand what I'm saying?"

"What about personality?" Fred and George asked in unison. They had never really been interested in girls until they had entered into their fifth year. They'd just enjoyed pranking people for so many years that they had failed to notice all of the girls that were starting to bloom in their year and well now, they were eagerly trying to find that one girl that they could share their rather interesting intellect with.

Bill laughed loudly and Charlie chuckled lightly, "Sometimes personality can only get you so far. Now Fred and George you're personalities will actually get you really far because well no one else in the entire school will have personalities that could match up to yours but when it comes to Harry and more so to Ron being tough and using that Alpha male energy will get them further than just using their personalities," Charlie said calmly as Bill continued to laugh at the top of his voice.

"Oi! What's wrong with our personalities?" Ron said as he caught on to what his second eldest brother was saying to them. Harry grimaced as he knew what Charlie was getting at, he could barely talk to girls, but he knew that he would be able to connect with them better than Ron could on, lets just say, a first date.

"What do you mean what's wrong?" Bill said suddenly in an incredulous voice. Ron's ears turned pink as he glared at his oldest brother. A light ripple of wind blew past the group of wizards and then Bill spoke again.

"If you can't figure it out for yourself Ron I'll just have to tell you. Harry isn't too bad but listen mate, with your attitude and inferior looks-,"

"Inferior looks? Watch it or I'll deck you," Ron exclaimed furiously. The group laughed and let Bill continue on with what he had started to say.

"Well your looks are inferior when compared to your older brothers, minus Percy of course. But as I was saying with your attitude and inferior looks it will be a lot harder for you to get a girl with just your wooden personality," Bill said as he picked at his finger nails. Ron's rage was bubbling but he didn't dare say anything back to his older brother, he'd done that once before and Bill had successfully turned his hair into candy floss.

"Don't forget through all of this Alpha male stuff you have to be able to keep your nerve and to keep your courage," Charlie said as he broke the silence that had now landed on the group.

"You know this is all well and good you telling us about this but I'd love to see it demonstrated," Harry said as Ron continued to glare at Bill who now was paying attention to Charlie. Charlie in turn looked over to Bill who winked at him and motioned for him to say something.

"Alright I'll demonstrate. Bill you can still conjure up that dream woman can't you?" Charlie asked his brother with a smile who nodded his head but at that moment the men and boys heard the back door of the Burrow open and spotted Hermione Granger walking out with a book under her arm.

"You wouldn't!" Harry, Ron, Fred and George whispered in shocked tones to Bill and Charlie. They were however ignored by the two older men who were now watching Hermione intently.

"You definitely should do it mate I'm too old," Bill whispered to Charlie who was now flexing his fingers. "Yeah I'll do it, even thought I'm still too old, I'm not as old as you. Do you think she's far enough away from the window? Mum won't see?"

"Yeah she is now go for it and show this lot how it's done," Bill said audaciously as Charlie got up and strode over to the girl who was just about to sit down on the garden bench.

"Watch and learn," Bill said as he felt Harry and his brothers peering over his shoulders.

* * *

Hermione was just about to sit down on the seat that she had been longing for for the greater part of the day. Molly had insisted that Hermione, Ginny and herself went to Diagon Alley for a girls day out and right now Hermione's feet were killing her and her brain was longing for a good book however just as she was about to sit down on the garden bench she heard a voice calling her.

"Hermione!" she turned and noticed Charlie striding towards her with a determined look in his eyes.

"Hey Charlie, is there something wrong?" He was practically emitting testosterone and even just by looking at him she was getting rather hot under the collar.

"There's nothing wrong, I just hope that book doesn't land on your foot," Charlie said as he stopped right in front of her. His close proximity with her was rather surprising as they'd only really met each other at the start of the summer, but she had to admit to herself that he was a very dashing man so she wasn't going to complain.

"Why would I drop my book?" she asked as she gazed into his smouldering blue eyes. She felt a blush creep onto her face as he grinned at her with a mischievous grin.

"This is why," he said and before she knew it Charlie grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into her first kiss. As her booked dropped to the ground she forced away her initial surprise and melted into the kiss she never thought she was going to get.

* * *

"Holy crap," whispered Fred and George as they felt their jaws drop to the ground. Bill could hardly believe it himself, he thought Charlie would have taken it slow just to show the guys how it was done, but he immediately showed them his 'A game'.

"He's actually snogging Hermione!" Ron said as he felt something stir in the pit of his stomach. Harry remained silent as he couldn't quite get his head around what he was seeing.

"How did he do that?" Fred asked as he gazed at Charlie. "Alpha male expertise my dear brother," Bill said as he turned and clapped Fred on his shoulder. "He's unreal," George stated.

"He's really brave," Harry sighed as he thought in his own mind that he would never be able to do something like that.

"I'm going to die a virgin!" exclaimed Ron as Charlie and Hermione continued their, now very engrossed, kiss.

"That you are Ron…that you are."

* * *

**A/N:** Good or Bad...tell me what you thought lol Personally I don't think it's my best so please inform me through REVIEWS!! I also appologise for any spelling errors...my brain is sleeping lol xxxxxxxxx


End file.
